Second Chance; To Use or Not to Use

"When we know the end is near, we want to survive, jump at opportunities and explore. It is in the idea of impending death (or deprivation of freedom) that one decides to live. And that, truly, is the great irony of life".

The quote above reminds me of an edition of American Gangster that focused on a gangster or should I say former gangster; Guy Thomas Fisher.

A convicted racketeer who was once part of "The Council", a notorious African-American crime organisation that controlled the heroin trade in Harlem from 1972-1983.

He had it all; money, women and power.

Or so he thought until...

The big "L" word

Well, those who know me know am a sucker for romance and happy endings.

But as you grow older you realise love isn't perfect; it is the merging of two imperfect hearts that are willing to stick together through the sometimes not so easy journey.

Fairy tales and M&B give a distorted impression but I think this picture is a true description of love.

Sometimes you just have to mend that heart and start again :)

Xoxo.

Adapt, Migrate or Die

Life throws us curve balls sometimes and if you are someone who is averse to change and uncertainty, it can be extremely hard to cope.

So how do you deal with it?

Some months back I wrote about change :).

At that point I viewed change as a big scary monster that I would have to tackle despite my fears.

 

Months down the lane, I know one thing for sure; change is surely a big scary monster; it just rips that safe cosy rug from under your warm feet and leaves you out there trying to navigate foreign and sometimes less pleasant waters.

It is very scary especially if you are the type that likes things aligned in near perfect order or an impulsive planner.

And of course I am guilty of the charges above.
 

Not to rumble; I sha like to get all philosophical abi :).

Here is the point I am trying to make:

What do you do when life throws you curve balls?

From my time in change "prison", my solitary confinement has taught me that we have three options:

Happy New Year

Happy New Year and thank you for turning up in 2013.

XOXO

R.I.P Madiba

The World has lost a selfless hero.

R.I.P Nelson Mandela.

A man who despite challenges and hard times never wavered in his passion.

A man who never let bitterness cloud his mission on earth.

The World is now left with indeed very big shoes to fill.

We will honour your legacy and your name will forever resonate in our hearts.

Sleep on Madiba; heaven is lucky to have you.

Tick Tock

2013 is almost up.

How time flies yeah.

With the end of the year comes nostalgia and a careful review of the past months.

For me, a review of lessons learnt also comes to mind.

And here are some I would like to share with YOU:

1) Your happiness is solely your responsibility, never place it in the hands of another human being.

2) Money is important; whoever says otherwise hasn't lacked it for one second.

3) Trust but verify; not saying we all have to be detectives but you have to learn to shine your eyes.

4) If you don't like it, don't do it, stop with the people pleasing.

5) You are stronger than you think, don't let fear win.

6) Friends are precious, they are like the icing on the cake of life. Treasure them.

7) Family is very very important. Love them even when they piss you off like my sister alwaysssss does.

8) God is God...need I say more, don't joke with Him.

9) When in a shitty place think of the type of tissue you will use to clean yourself up, you can't afford to stink forever.

10) Life may not go the way we want it to but honestly without darkness will you appreciate light?

11) Don't think about it if it won't improve you in positive ways, have selective amnesia.

12) Stop forcing things and people to come to you; just relax, what is yours will come.

13) Bad people exist, now the choice is yours to either be bitter about it or be better than them.

13b) Laugh at your problems, trust me it sounds better than hearing someone else laugh at them.

That is a long list but hey it had to be thirteen (13) and a half (13b) *straight face* :) .

Life is good...explore, savour and enjoy it.

Quick question: What has 2013 taught you?

Xoxo.

Imperfect Moment

Semira, you haven't written a thing in months, what's wrong?

Is your blog still active, I haven't seen any recent post?

Why have you stopped writing?

....and the list goes on.

As always my response is usually a mumbled; I haven't being in the mood or ehen, I will post something soon (when I know at that moment "soon" means the same thing as never).

The truth is I have been waiting for a sign from Heaven, a thunderous voice that will say "Semira, my beloved Child, pick up your keyboard or keypad and type", then I will suddenly get inspiration from above and start writing like a maniac.

Obviously I don dey wait tire because the only thunderoussounds I have heard so far are the noises emitting from my neighbours' generators.

So after waiting for that very elusive perfect time, I realised there is really nothing like perfect timing.

What really makes an activity "perfect" is doing it even when you don't feel the whole vibe.

The realisation that those imperfect moments are actually made perfect by our actions.

Nike (the brand not Nike in Ibadan) knew what they were doing when they picked the motto "Just Do It".

The truth is right now I am not totally in my element, am writing this post and one little critic in my head is telling me "shey, you have come again, let's see how long you will last this time"?

Btw: sometimes I think my inner critic is just a mean old woman because I can't understand how a voice can be filled with so much negativity.

Anyway, let's ignore her.

Back to the matter....

What really matters for me is RIGHT NOW.

This imperfect moment where I get to talk through my words and do my favourite thing.

What really matters is the happiness am deriving from just doing it.

And yes, of course I am surely going to come down to the moral of my story which simply is:

JUST DO IT.

It may not be the perfect time to start writing that book; just do it.

It may not be the perfect time to hit the gym; just do it.

It may not be the perfect time to start something new and positive in your life; just do it.

At the end of the day what really matters is how well you made good use of an imperfect moment.

Now I always love hearing from you guys, so do feel free to tell me what you think; Is it right to seize the moment or instead wait for that perfect moment?

Be inspired....xoxo.

Music of the Week : Khona Mafikizolo ft Uhuru

The first time I heard this song I had to move, not just my neck (not that idle bobbing of your head when all you want to do is stand up and tear down the dance floor).

But the real deal :).

And I can rightly guess most people had the same reaction when they heard the smashing hit.

It really didn't matter if I didn't know what "Khona" meant at the time, all that mattered was how great it sounded.

But curiosity got the best of me and I had to find out what the song really means and luckily I got a very elaborate article on the song written by Prince Adewale Oreshade.

So for all the Khona lovers and curious minds out there, do click on the link after the cut to know more about the song:

To Thyself Be True

Hello Diary,

Yes, I know I am tired of this appearing and disappearing act too.

But promising to be a consistent blogger who updates her blog every single day will be the same as our government's promise to provide sustainable power in 2020.

So I'd rather keep mum and dwell on this moment.

So hello again, I have missed you as much as a dog misses its bone and I mean it :).

A while back I wrote about CHANGE; the exciting yet scary feeling it brings.

Months later, I can say it has been a roller coaster ride.

From me seeking escape in the warmth and wealth of Arabian soil to me evaluating and reevaluating different aspects of my life.

And I must say the basic output of it all has been the essence of the quote "To Thyself be True".

Subconsciously we go through life based on other people's / societal approval.

Starting from the right way to dress to the right way to conduct oneself in public.

Yes, I honestly embrace the idea of law and order but where does one draw the line between being uniquely you and being the person others want you to be.

It gets blurry sometimes.

Even while writing this piece, I kept going back and forth wondering if I am saying the appropriate thing.

And that is quite tiring.

Most times I just want to say whatever, do whatever and be whatever without getting so engrossed in other people's opinions.

And this time away from my usual routine has taught me that the approval you really need is: 

Casting all our cares

In recent times, I have been coming across spiritual messages centred around absolutely trust and reliance on God. 

And these messages couldn't have come at a better time.

Sometimes our faith waver; after getting so engrossed in our own human strength we tend to forget how to rely on the Supreme being.

Somehow we block out that trust and faith and instead fix our gaze on mind-draining thoughts and actions; trying to be our own super heroes.

Wouldn't it be nice to just relax and let God do His thing sometimes?

Joyce Meyer seem to agree with me.

Here is an excerpt from her (Joyce Meyer) devotional, titled; "Relying on God".

Read, Reflect and Refresh your minds:

I believe every time we feel frustration, it means we've really stopped relying on God. 

That might sound like a bold statement to you, but think about it: God's given you and me His Holy Spirit and His grace to help us walk through anything that comes our way. 

Frustration hits when we stop depending on Him and try to make something happen our own way.

Understanding this really helped me. Every time I became frustrated, I reminded myself that what I was really doing was trying to take the place of the Holy Spirit. I was trying to be Holy Spirit Junior!

Do you struggle with an independent spirit? When you refuse to depend on God, in essence, you're saying, "Okay, God, I appreciate that You're around, but watch me do this." 

Depending on God for everything may be difficult, but it's the key to the victory we need every single day of our lives.

When God saved us, He didn't help us and then say, "Ok, that's it. You're on your own now!" He's eternally saved us, which means if we depend on Him, He will guide us and help us. 

Galations 5:16 urges us to "walk and live [habitually] in the [Holy] Spirit...then you will certainly not gratify the cravings and desires of the flesh".... Notice that it doesn't say "conquer the flesh independently...then you will certainly not gratify the desires of the flesh." No, it says to live in the Holy Spirit.

Choose to stop living independently, and rely on the Holy Spirit.

I promise you won't regret it!

Quote of the Week

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life.


It turns what we have into enough, and more.


It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity.


It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.

Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.

― Melody Beattie

Letter to my Mother

Dear Mum,

Today I celebrate the reason for my existence on earth.

Today I celebrate the vessel God picked specially to convey me into this World.

Today I celebrate my role model, my shield, my safe haven, my sweet mother as you mark another year in your life.

To understand the song "Sweet Mother", all I need to do is look at you and the lyrics comes to life.

And each line reminds me of how much you sacrificed to keep I and my sister full clothed, well educated and well fed.

Looking back, now faced with my own responsibilities, I can only imagine what you went through to take care of us because even though we may not have lived in mansions and owned exotic cars, we never lacked.

We never went hungry. We were never left unclothed. We never went a day without a roof above our heads.

You struggled to get us into the best schools around, you were with us all through every process in our lives...even our first year registration in the University, lol

I can remember being so embarrassed, like really how was I supposed to prove my independence in front of my classmates after I was virtually led by my mom throughout my registration process.

The upside was that you always took away the stress that came with every new journey we had to take.

You were and still is the very protective mother hen we grew up knowing...no one messes with her chicks *big smile*.

But despite this "smothering", one would expects us to turn out weak and unable to rely on our individual strengths.

Well, we turned out to be the opposite.

Because you never spared the rod at the right time (trust African Mama...you mess up, you get memorable smacks) and then when everything calms down (being our melodious wails), I can remember you sitting us down and telling us where we went wrong and why we shouldn't do it again.

My protective mother hen, you taught us how to live based on our firm belief in God and belief in our strength as humans.

You taught us how to stand up and get what we want out of life irrespective of our age and gender.

You taught us how to avoid being ruled by circumstances and instead learn how to fearlessly take the bull by its horns.

You taught us how to be content, for even though we had friends who probably had more than we did, we never wanted more.

You taught us how to work hard for whatever we wanted out of life; from an early age I knew life wasn't a bed of roses and to get to the top I had to put in extra effort.

Most importantly, you literally showed us the strong and unflinching power that exists in the delicate frames of women.

You did everything a provider would do and still had the time and strength to nurture us, your babies.

From an early age I learnt how to be focused because I knew letting myself and you down wasn't an option.

Today I celebrate my Margaret Thatcher (for her unflinching strength).

Today I celebrate my Queen Amina (for her undying loyalty to the people she loves).

Today I celebrate my sweet mother; Hajiya Karimat Isang, for being my safe haven and for making me the woman I am today.

Today I celebrate my Amazon, for breaking that gender barrier in my head from an early age and showing me, through your life and pursuits, that I can be whoever I want to be irrespective of my gender.

Today I celebrate my World.

Happy birthday Mamawo.

I love you now and forever.

Your baby,

Tosin.

Hard Work Vs Easy Money

I recently read in one of our National Newspapers that the outcome of a survey showed that Youths in this generation have little or no appreciation for hard work and will gladly choose easy money over working hard to earn money.

I think that is really sad.

Call me "old school" or a stickler for hard work and sweat.

But my principle in life has always been "go out there and work for it, if you can get it yourself, why wait for some else to do it for you".

If you can afford to save your salary and get a nice little dainty car that moves without spurting out exhaust, then why wait for someone to come along and buy you a range rover, bearing in mind that you will most likely be "cab and bus hopping" while waiting for this Messiah?.

Don't get me wrong, I like alllllll the good things in life but then I can't understand why one will dwell in the illusion that all these things will fall from heaven!!!!!.

Wake up.

Even if everything gets handed down to you, you know that "arab money movement", you will never feel the same way you would feel if you knew you worked hard for those things and deserve every single bit of it.

Obviously, from my monologue, you would have correctly surmised that I can't stand laziness.

Yes, you don't have to be a workaholic. But you also don't have to be a dreamer; building castles in your head while you are content drinking "ijebu garri" in reality and not moving at least one of your fingers to turn things around.

Once again I say wake up.

I try my best not to judge people who do "runz", like really who are we to judge; "just because we don't commit the same sin doesn't mean its not still sin".

But really if the alhaji pursuing-alhaji getting life works for you then do it wisely.

Why obtain millions from a "paymaster", just to spend it all on a range rover, while your self-contain room can barely contain a king-size bed and your poor mother still sells okpa on the road side.

Are you a learner?

What I am simply trying to say is "work hard" (bearing in mind that work may mean different things to different people) and then use this hard earned money WISELY to make your life better instead of waiting for manna from heaven.

I honestly do think that if we, as a Nation, embrace the benefit of hard work and honest living, this country (Nigeria) and the World as a whole will be better place.

A place without fast guys trying to make it big no matter what.

A place without young and beautiful ladies leaving their homes to come to Abuja in search for "paymasters".

A place where people will relish the satisfaction from looking at their possessions proudly and saying "I earned that", instead of "I looted that".

Call me naïve for thinking this way.

But that is how I see life and for me, seeing and living life that way has worked out perfectly for me.

Of course I didn't come to Abuja to "snap picture" but neither did I come to obtain easy money. 

Through the sweat and the long hours in the Office, I can smile and say "I earned that".

Can you?

Quick Question: What is your take on easy money? I am willing to explore different opinions, besides it's "different strokes for different folks".

Closed Doors, Opened Doors

Do not fret or have any anxiety about anything, but in every circumstance and in everything, by prayer and petition (definite requests), with thanksgiving, continue to make your wants known to God. And God’s peace . . .which transcends all understanding shall garrison and mount guard over your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. —Philippians 4:6–7

 

Change is a scary thing....a really big scary thing.

It takes away that assurance of knowing what tomorrow may bring.

It takes away that safety net; the assurance and security of routine.

But despite its BIG and SCARY nature, change is very essential to human existence.

It is that force that propels us to move forward instead of staying comfortably in one stagnant spot.

It makes us see the World differently and realise there is more to life than what we already know.

I should know about change because that is exactly what is about to happen to me.

I am about to leave my Safe Haven; my Comfort Zone.

Am I scared of this change?
 

What is your Selling Point?

"What is your selling point?" Chi Chi asked, strolling into my Office.

I smiled.

And being the persistent person she is, she asked again.

"Semira, what's your selling point?", humming the tune and lyrics from D'Prince's song, titled "Goody Bag".

Although the song may have a slightly different meaning from my post and Chi Chi's enquiry.

It still asks a very vital question; what is your selling point?.

Really, what makes you stand out from the crowd?

What defines you?

What makes you marketable?

Having a selling point is similar to having a talent or a skill that is marketable.

The key word here is being marketable.

Not necessarily in monetary terms.

But it has to be able to provide vital services and also make people seek you out for those services.

It may be as little as being very good at braiding hair to being a big Publicist.

Whatever it is, it has to define your purpose here on Earth.

And really, we all know you can't give what you don't have.

OR

You can't give what you have but don't know you have :).

Twisted yeah...

So until you dig deep and define your SELLING POINT.

You may just end up being an unpolished pearl sitting quietly in the depth of the Sea.

Waiting to exhale...

And until you get that pearl out, polish it till it is shining and dazzle the World with your radiance, you may truly never be "marketable".

So once again, I ask you:

What is your SELLING POINT?

Use it.

Now over to you...

What are you passionate about and how have you made it (them) your selling point (s)?