For your reading pleasure, enjoy and do have a productive week ahead:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower,
when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs
downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.
Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in
front of Bob.
After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to
the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the
next door neighbor," she replies.
"Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800
he owes me?"
Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your
shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her
gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the
car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her
leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The
priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak."
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said,
"Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."
Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, opportunities for advancement will
pass right by you.
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when
they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie
says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."
"Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the
Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Puff! She's
"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii
, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina
Coladas and the love of my life." Puff! He's gone.
"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says,
"I want those two back in the office after lunch."
Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the
eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"
The eagle answered: "Sure , why not."
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a
fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the
top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the
bull. They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough
strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating
some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the
tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story:
Bull shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
A little bird was flying south for the Winter. It was so cold the bird froze
and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came
by and shit on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how
warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and
happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the
sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug
him out and ate him.
Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
this post and thought to share, it reminds me of how “ungrateful” we get
sometimes and how hard it is for us, as humans, to be unconditionally grateful to
CONVERSATION WITH GOD Me: God,
can I ask You a question? God: Sure. Me: Promise
You won't get mad ... ... ... God: I promise. Me: Why
did You let so much stuff happen to me today? God: What do you mean? Me: Well,
I woke up late. God: Yes. Me: My
car took forever to start. God: Okay. Me: At
lunch they made my sandwich wrong and I had to wait. God: Hmmm... Me: On
the way home, my phone went DEAD, just as I picked up a call. God: All right. Me: And
on top of it all, when I got home ~I just wanted to soak my feet in my new foot
massager & relax. BUT it wouldn't work!!! Nothing went right today! Why did
You do that?. God: Let
me see, the Angel of Death was at your bed this morning & I had to send one
of my Angels to battle him for your life. I let you sleep through that. Me (humbled): OH God: I didn't let your car start because there was a drunk driver on your
route that would have hit you if you were on the road. Me: (ashamed). God: The first person who was supposed to make your sandwich today is
sick and I didn't want you to catch what he has, I knew you couldn't afford
to be sick and miss work. Me (embarrassed): Okay. God: Your phone went dead because
the person that was calling was going to give a false report of what you said
on that call, I didn't even let you talk to them so you would be covered. Me (softly): I see God God: Oh and that foot massager, it had a shortage that was going to turn
off all of the power in your house tonight. I didn't think you wanted to be in
the dark. Me: I'm Sorry God. God: Don't be sorry, just learn to
Trust Me.... in All things , the Good & the Bad. Me: I will trust You. God: And don't doubt that My plan
for your day is Always Better than your plan. Me: I won't God and let me just tell
you God; Thank You for everything today. God: You're welcome child. It was
just another day being your God and I Love looking after My Children...:).
“An Attitude of Gratitude increases
your Altitude” :)
So something happened on Saturday that am itching to share and then get
First of all, it was a great day because I saw two best friends get married
(Julie Amafah and Alex Attah) and it was ohhh so lovely and fun-filled :).
While I was basking in this happiness and carrying out my
"bridesmaid" duties, a young bloke walked up to me and the following
"Excuse me, someone asked me to give this to you" the bloke said
while pulling out a complimentary card from his pocket.
My first reaction was shock then it slowly ebbed to mild irritation, like
really what happened to the "old fashion" way of guys walking up to
girls and asking them out or at least delivering the "love letter"
(infused with his best perfume...lol) himself?. Am not saying every guy does
this but it is getting quite rampant especially in Abuja and I just wonder
So back to the conversation...
"Hmmmmm...I will try not to be rude to you but can you go back to the
person that sent you and give him back his complimentary card" I said as
calmly as I could manage.
"Ahhhh..stop acting proud now and just collect the card, he even asked me
to collect your number" the bloke insisted.
At this point it took all my strength to hold it in, I was so irritated...now
am being proud for refusing to collect a guy's complimentary card delivered by
a "messenger" and then to add to it all, am supposed to hand over my
number and probably say; “please ask your Oga to call me ko"...smh.
"Bros, please go back to the person that sent you, if he wants to talk to
me, he should come and meet me himself, end of story" I said and turned
around before the bloke asks me to "frog jump" for refusing his
Luckily for his sake and my sake too, he went back to his master, but I have
been wondering and can't help asking:
Is this the new trend of "toasting"? Is it a sign of authority and
"big boyrism" for the "sender"? Abi, is the number of
courageous guys especially in Abuja slowly dwindling?.
Sometimes life’s lessons can be
gleaned from little and seemly inconsequential events, such as reading a very good
book or watching a wonderful movie. Yes, they say “experience is the best
teacher”, but I guess there is no harm in learning from someone else’s experience
and that is what the inspirational book that has also been made into a movie
titled Gifted Hands does.
It teaches you vital life lessons
which is believable, since it is a true story, as it depicts what a person can
accomplish through hard work, dedication, and believing that anything is
possible if you put your mind to it.
The story focuses on the life of a Pediatric
Neurosurgeon; Dr. Benjamin Carson, who not only went against all odds to become
the first Pediatric Neurosurgeon to perform a Hemispherectomy but also went
through a childhood filled with anger, racism and low self-esteem.
But with love and constant
encouragement from his Mother, who had insecurities of her own, and his
unwavering faith in God he turned out to be greater than he had ever imagined.
Gifted hands by Ben Carson is a book/movie for those who are plagued with
insecurities, anger and the fear of trying.
Enjoy either reading the book or
watching the movie. It’s worth your time.
So the other day I was gisting with
a friend, one gist led to another and we got talking about the
"general" notion that men are created with a certain "gene"
that makes them liable to cheat and this act (wrong or right...I won't say) is
widely acceptable in most societies especially in Africa; where a man is free
to "sow his wild oats from Niger to Chad".
got me thinking because according to my friend; "that's how they (men) are
all wired and we (women) are expected to accept them like that", she said
in a resigned tone. Well, I won't say exactly what I told her but our opinions
definitely differ especially the "acceptance" part. I may sound like
a feminist but really people, let's call a "spade a spade".
If as a young vibrant
man who is in a exclusive relationship or is married and the urge to
"cheat" strikes you, don't blame it on the society....take
"credit" for your actions, its either you have alot of
"love" to spread around as per "da love machine",
"konji" is catching you or you just hate that word called
"commitment". Don't blame it on the poor society that has no solid
representative, abi has anyone ever seen a child called "society"?.
In my humble opinion, I think
people "generalize" things or put the blame on the
"society" when they know the action they are involved in has negative
connotations. If the society is to be blamed for every "general"
action, then why doesn't anybody say its natural for a young man to yearn for
success despite unemployment issues? How come nobody says a young African male
should grow up with the urge to be responsible and goal-driven?. Nope, I guess
that's not the "societal" way of thinking.
The "societal" way of
1) Every man is born with the urge
to be unfaithful and he will most likely satisfy that urge either in his early
years or when he is sixty years old with a young "grand daughter"
calling him "baby".
2) 90% of the girls in Abuja are
"runz babes", it is unthinkable for a young girl to work hard, pay
her rent and buy herself a good ride. Nahh,one aristo must be responsible and
it is ok, because that's "Abuja life" for you.
3) Igbo people are so money driven
that they can sell themselves just for profit and it's ok, besides he/she is an
igbo person and the "society" expects and accepts this action.
I can go on and on, but am sure we
get the drift. When are we going to learn to stand as individuals, each person
responsible for his/her own actions, strong enough to say "I did it
because I felt like doing" and not because "na the usual thing"
or (my favourite") "the devil caused it" (wonder how people
communicate with the devil so effectively...smh).
Give the "society" a
break and be your own regulator, everyone is free to differ with my opinion as
long as they have met a dude or a babe called "society".
Until then...I choose to draw a
clean and straight line between my actions and what the "society"
expects from me.