So the other day I was gisting with a friend, one gist led to another and we got talking about the "general" notion that men are created with a certain "gene" that makes them liable to cheat and this act (wrong or right...I won't say) is widely acceptable in most societies especially in Africa; where a man is free to "sow his wild oats from Niger to Chad".
This "gist" got me thinking because according to my friend; "that's how they (men) are all wired and we (women) are expected to accept them like that", she said in a resigned tone. Well, I won't say exactly what I told her but our opinions definitely differ especially the "acceptance" part. I may sound like a feminist but really people, let's call a "spade a spade".
If as a young vibrant man who is in a exclusive relationship or is married and the urge to "cheat" strikes you, don't blame it on the society....take "credit" for your actions, its either you have alot of "love" to spread around as per "da love machine", "konji" is catching you or you just hate that word called "commitment". Don't blame it on the poor society that has no solid representative, abi has anyone ever seen a child called "society"?.
In my humble opinion, I think people "generalize" things or put the blame on the "society" when they know the action they are involved in has negative connotations. If the society is to be blamed for every "general" action, then why doesn't anybody say its natural for a young man to yearn for success despite unemployment issues? How come nobody says a young African male should grow up with the urge to be responsible and goal-driven?. Nope, I guess that's not the "societal" way of thinking.
The "societal" way of thinking is:
1) Every man is born with the urge to be unfaithful and he will most likely satisfy that urge either in his early years or when he is sixty years old with a young "grand daughter" calling him "baby".
2) 90% of the girls in Abuja are "runz babes", it is unthinkable for a young girl to work hard, pay her rent and buy herself a good ride. Nahh,one aristo must be responsible and it is ok, because that's "Abuja life" for you.
3) Igbo people are so money driven that they can sell themselves just for profit and it's ok, besides he/she is an igbo person and the "society" expects and accepts this action.
I can go on and on, but am sure we get the drift. When are we going to learn to stand as individuals, each person responsible for his/her own actions, strong enough to say "I did it because I felt like doing" and not because "na the usual thing" or (my favourite") "the devil caused it" (wonder how people communicate with the devil so effectively...smh).
Give the "society" a break and be your own regulator, everyone is free to differ with my opinion as long as they have met a dude or a babe called "society".
Until then...I choose to draw a clean and straight line between my actions and what the "society" expects from me.