Thursday, May 21, 2015

The Awakening

Dear Diary,

It has been a really long time I talked to YOU.

I could come up with a million and one excuses for not visiting but I have none except one:

Life happened....

27th December, 2014: Started out as any other day, asides my mom being ill, it was just the typical Saturday morning; busy with household chores and market trips. But everything virtually changed within minutes for me, from a routine check up in a clinic to a confused me rushing my unconscious mother to a bigger hospital just to be told she had died.

My world literally stopped spinning.  First came denial, then shock, then a deep sadness that cannot be explained but truly only experienced.

Everyone who really knew me knew my mom was my world. I was not only her “auta” (last child in hausa) but the closest to her. I used to fondly call her my baby (as she said I reminded her of her mom) and I took that title seriously, I wanted the best for her and from an early age my mind was already programmed to work hard and buy her an aeroplane (lol...yeah that was my first promise to my mom).

In a way, she became my focus for success, anytime I felt like giving up, I imagined how she would feel and that forced me to carry on instead.

So I am not joking when I say my world literally stopped.

The haze of burial preparations kept me busy for a while and the whole incident hit me when everyone left, it felt surreal because I was still tempted to call her when I got back home but I finally realised that I was not going to touch her again, talk to her or even see her smile.

Trust me, it hurt a lot.

But hey that is not the moral of this diary entry, here is the reason I am sharing this with you:


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