It was a bright sunny day,
everything seemed fine to Simi, she walked with a certain gait in her steps,
thinking of all the endless possibilities life has in store for her. At this
stage of her life, she had absolutely nothing to worry about everything seemed
to fit in perfectly except one glitch in her "bucket list"; she
assumed she would be happily married by now and when she closes her eyes at
night, she feels a certain sense of panic; "what if I never meet the right
guy", "what if I become an old spinster, alone and miserable",
"what if..." and more "what ifs...", she goes through this
cycle till she finally drifts off.
But on this day, she felt good,
probably out of denial or just the fact that she had chosen to accept her lot,
either way, she breezed into her office with a huge smile on her face and
greeted everyone with extra joy. Just as she was about to settle into the day’s
work, a young gentleman steps into her Office and unknowingly to them this was
about to become a new chapter in their lives.
"Good Morning, I was directed
to see a Miss Adeyemi, I have to make some enquires" Akin said. In an
effort to act like she wasn't impressed by his looks, Simi kept her face as bland as ever but she had
taken note of how good Akin looked and liked what she saw. "Welcome Sir,
please sit down, I am Miss Adeyemi, what can I do for you?". After several
minutes of talking about the benefits of her Company's Insurance Policies, Akin
seemed satisfied and promised to come back the next day.
Even though Simi tried to block out
the image of Akin in her head long after the brief interaction, it kept coming
up at strange times. The next day, she took extra care in applying her make-up
and choosing her outfit for the day but kept convincing herself that she was
not doing it because of the fact that Akin will be coming back that day. At the
end of the day, she had stopped lying to herself, Akin never showed up that day
and she felt disappointed, all the make-up for nothing :(.
A week later, Akin’s image had
already started dwindling and she was getting back to her normal state of mind,
she was just about to step out for lunch when she heard a soft knock at her
door, "Come in", she said reluctantly, she was quite hungry at this
point but the hunger vanished when she saw who it was, "Hello Miss
Adeyemi, sorry for not coming back the next day as I promised, I had to travel,
can we carry out the necessary transactions today?". "Sure, you don’t
have to apologize, I even forgot we had an appointment the next day" Simi
After an hour, the transaction was completed and it was time for Akin to
leave, unknown to Simi, Akin has been thinking of how to ask her for number, even
though he was a ladies man for some unknown reason he felt shy and unsure of
himself around this lady, he was being absolutely careful not to mess things up
but he knew that this would be the end if he doesn’t make a move now, besides
it will either be a "yes" or a "no", where is the harm in
that. With this pep talk, Akin summoned the courage and said "hmmmmm...I hope
you don’t take this the wrong way, but I would like to have your number and
keep in touch with you outside your Office, maybe we can go for lunch sometime,
that is if you don’t mind" Akin said (his mind kept hammering; please say
yes!!!). Simi was taken aback, she knew she was fine and attractive but she never
thought he had an interest in her since he was behaving all business-like from
the onset, she was already dancing azonto in her head, but she had to
play it cool, "Well, I don’t really like giving strangers my number but since
you are now our client, I don’t see any harm in having lunch with you, you can
have my number, it’s 080...". She didn’t have to call it out twice, Akin
as a sharp boy had stored the number
quickly. "Thanks Simi, I guess I can call you that now, I will give you a
call later, enjoy the rest of your day" Akin said with a huge smile on his
face, "You are welcome, alright later then" Simi said , feigning
disinterest despite the butterflies doing Etigi in her tummy.
A year down the lane, a
"harmless lunch" had led to a serious relationship, everything seemed
perfect, Simi had met Akin's family and friends and everyone seemed supportive
of the relationship. She had already envisioned her three kids having Akin's
handsome smile, even though he hadn’t proposed yet, they had talked about
marriage a few times and they both seemed to be in tandem with spending the
rest of their lives together until the 2nd of February, 2015; that day will be
etched in Simi's heart forever.
As usual, Akin dropped her off at
work and promised to come and get her later in the day. The day proceeded
relatively well even though for some unknown reason she felt funny, she couldn’t
shake off the feeling that something was going to happen that day, she prayed
about it for a bit and forced herself to concentrate on the day's tasks. At
6:30pm, she was already getting worried, she had tried Akin's number several
times but got no response, she decided to take a cab home instead since it was
already getting dark. She got home and continued trying his number, at this
time she was already panicking because this was not her usual Akin, he always
took her needs seriously and called if he was going to be tied up in the
Office. Just when she was about to call his elder brother, her phone rang, it
was Akin calling she felt so relived, she started talking as soon as she picked
up, "Baby, thank God you are alright, I have been trying your number all
day and got so worried, are you still in the Office, I hope all is well?"
She gushed out. There was silence at the other end of the line before a strange
male voice said, "Hello, am sorry, I picked up this phone at the scene of
an accident, it has been ringing all day and I didn’t know how to pick up and
inform the caller about what happened" the stranger said. At this point,
several thoughts were running through Simi's head and all she heard was the
word "accident", "Am sorry, did you say accident, where is Akin?
is he in a hospital? what's the name of the hospital? is he alright?" she
asked hysterically, "Am so sorry, he died while we were rushing him to the
hospital, his body is presently at the morgue in Maitama General Hospital"
the stranger said, "I am currently in the hospital, I can wait for you to
come down before I leave" he added.
At that moment everything seemed
like a dream to Simi, she clearly imagined how Leonardo DiCaprio felt in Inception,
she was praying someone would tap her and bring her out of this nightmare. She couldn’t
remember how she was able to call up Adaora, her best friend, to take her to
the morgue or even remember how Akin's siblings came to meet her staring
blankly at the man that she had come to love like the air she breathes, all she
could think of was their last moment together; "Why didn’t I hug him
tighter", "Why didn’t I tell him I love you more often", "Why
did we even quarrel over trivial things last night", "why, why,
why...." and all she got in response was silence, it was too late, her
Akin was gone forever.
The pain was unbearable and she thought there couldn’t
be more pain until she saw his coffin being lowered down into the earth several
weeks later, her life as she knew it had ended and she hadn’t gotten the
opportunity to show Akin how much she adored and appreciated him, she assumed
since he knew how she felt, there was no need saying it. Now it was too
late, the words she never said and the hurtful words they said in the heat of
anger will hunt her forever.
"Say what you feel, when you
feel it, and how you feel it"
Something for us to digest in our moment of solitude this weekend and as we struggle with our fears in our day to day living:
deepest fears is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is that we are
powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens
us. We ask ourselves, “Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?”.
Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small
does not serve the World. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other
people won’t feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory
of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us. It is in everyone. And
as we let our own light shine we unconsciously give other people permission to
do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically
liberates others” – Nelson Mandela
A lovely article by Joyce Meyer, I think it makes perfect
sense and decided to share.
Do enjoy reading it:
It's tough to enjoy life when you
don't like yourself. People who haven't learned to accept and get along with
themselves tend to have more difficulty accepting and getting along with
others. Yet, the Bible repeatedly tells us to "love your neighbor as
yourself." I personally spent years having a hard time getting along with
people, until I finally realized through the Word of God how my difficulty with
other people was actually "rooted" in my difficulties with
The Bible says a good tree will
bear good fruit, and a rotten tree will bear rotten fruit. Likewise, the
"fruit" of our lives comes from the "root" within us. If
you're rooted in shame, guilt, inferiority, rejection, lack of love and
acceptance, etc., the fruit of your relationships will suffer. However, once you
have a revelation of God's unconditional love for you and begin to accept
yourself and others, eventually these new roots will produce good fruit, and
your relationships will thrive.
Here are a few tips I believe will
help you succeed at being yourself:
1. Never say or think negative things about yourself,
such as, "I never do anything right." "I'll never change."
"I'm ugly." "I look terrible." "I'm dumb."
"Who could ever love me?" Matthew 12:37 says, ...by
your words you will be justified..., and by your words you will be condemned….
Proverbs 23:7 says, …as [a
man] thinketh in his heart, so is he. In
other words, the way we talk and think about ourselves reveals how we feel
2. Speak good things about yourself (as
private confessions) in line with what the Word says about you. For example:
"I am the righteousness of God in Christ." "I am made acceptable
in the Beloved." "God created me and formed me with His own hands,
and God doesn't make mistakes." I like starting the day making good
confessions. Perhaps you can do this while you're driving to work or cleaning
house. I also encourage you to look in the mirror and say out loud, "God
loves and accepts you, and so do I." You may even try hugging yourself.
This is beneficial to people who have lacked love and acceptance in their
3. Never compare yourself with other people.
God must love variety or He wouldn't have created us all differently—even down
to our fingerprints. You'll never succeed at being yourself if you're trying to
be like someone else. Other people can be a good example to you, but
duplicating even their good traits will manifest differently through your
4. Focus on your potential instead of your limitations.
Actress Helen Hayes was told early in her career that if she were four inches
taller she'd be the greatest actress of her time. Her coaches tried various
methods of stretching her, but nothing increased her height. She refused to
concentrate on the supposed limitation of being five feet tall and decided to
concentrate on her potential. As a result, she was eventually cast as Mary,
Queen of Scotland—one of the tallest queens who ever lived.
5. Find something you like to do that you do well, and
do it over and over. If you spend your time doing things you're
not good at, it'll frustrate you and cause you to feel defeated and
6. Have the courage to be different and deal with
criticism. Be a God-pleaser, not a man-pleaser (see Galatians 1:10). If you dare to be different, you'll have
to expect some criticism. Going along with the crowd—when you know in your heart
God's leading you a different way—is one reason people don't succeed at being
themselves. You won't like yourself very much if you go against your own
7. Don't let the way another person treats you
determine your worth.
8. Keep your flaws in perspective.
People with a high level of confidence have just as many weaknesses as people
without confidence, but they concentrate on their strengths—not their flaws or
In conclusion, let me remind you of
my opening statement: It's tough to enjoy life when you don't like yourself.
When you learn to succeed at being yourself, you'll be well on your way to
enjoying life more fully.
Happy Birthday to Moi :). I turned
a year younger older yesterday and it felt really good knowing God
deemed it fit to keep and sustain me for ----- years on earth, indeed He is
worthy to be praised (OluwaTosin).