This article may be
"ironic" coming from someone who "used" to worry and be
anxious about every single thing but who else can aptly tell a story about how
"useless" worrying can be than a recovering "worrier" huh?.
And yes please, that is what I call
myself these days (a recovering worrier) and I use the word
"recovering" because its a process. You can't just wake up one
beautiful morning and decide that you are not going to worry about life anymore
and gbam!!!!...like magic you get your wish.
Of course it would be so much
easier that way but "unfortunately" it takes time, God's grace (very
essential) and a total change in the way one sees life.
Am not a philosopher or a
psychiatrist, so I wouldn't know jack about the tools or techniques to use to
get over worrying but I did/doing it my way, which is quite simple;
All I did was to hinge my life on
God, because at the end of the day the only reason I used to worry about every
single thing was because I relied on my own strength (which fails) without
looking up to the "ultimate strength".
So whenever that "fear"
creeps in and starts trying to eat me up (raising my blood pressure...smh), I
simply remember God's promise about not forgetting His children and that calms
my heart because I know no matter how turbulent life gets, have got the
"biggest shoulder" to lean on.
So instead of sitting on that
"rocking chair" that has never taken me anywhere, I chose to stand
firmly on God's words and I have absolutely no regrets.
So if you see my smiling when it
seems like my world is crumbling down, don't assume am high on cheap drugs
:)...I have just decided to do the best i can do and let God take care of the
rest.
I guess the image above is self
explanatory...so, am not going to "jot" down a loooonnnggg sermon
here :).
All i can say is that it depicts
what "religion" should be all about (in this case being a Christian),
which is a life centered around "total reliance on God's grace, humility,
acceptance of one's imperfection and acceptance of your "neighbor’s" imperfections and beliefs".
There may be more attached to
"Christianity" but for me that is how i see it....living right by
God, yourself and others.
And in my humble opinion if we can
all free ourselves from "superiority" complex when it comes to
religion, the world will be a very peaceful place.
Say a prayer for Kaduna and Nigeria
as a whole, there is surely light at the end of this looooonnnnggg tunnel.
Ideas come to people differently and at different times. I have come to realise that my brain gets "overcharged" when am doing mundane things like household chores, browsing through pictures e.t.c.
So i wasn't surprised when my brain "started showing itself" as i was doing my laundry this morning (Saturday) and i quickly grabbed my "tool" (my phone in this case) to turn my thoughts into words, which translates to:
Why do i write?
Why do i have a blog?
People write for different reasons; some to make a living, some because its part of their job description and some just for the fun of it.
Well, i write for the following basic reasons:
1) I loooovvvveee writing; there is a certain release and clarity i get when i pen down ideas...its like me having a conversation with my pen and paper or in most cases my keyboard or keypad. I sometimes compare it to "orgasm" (now don't get too sexual here...lol), i simply mean the "satisfaction" i get when am done writing. That's why am not really concerned if people compliment or comment on my write-ups (of course that feels good too...lol) but that's not the "ultimate" because i do it (write) for me, that is my primary reason.
2) I write "publicly" because i feel it would be "selfish" of me to keep ideas or my point of view concerning certain subjects to myself...trust me, there is always love in SHARING. When i write, i just pray one person can eventually go through my blog and learn something from my "mundane rantings" and the little experiences have passed through in life.
3) I want to infect people with "positivity". i used to be a very sad and negative person (confession :) ), but with God's grace and "self-therapy", i overcame the "struggle", now am as happy as one can be in this complicated world, i see things differently and i have learnt how to appreciate and savour every second i get in life. So, when i write i want to bring "sunshine and hope" to someone out there going through that phase i went through and that's why i end most of my posts with "smile".
So, my "saturday musing" has been completed and have reached my writing "climax" today.
And have also answered a question that defines the basic existence of my blog.
Just saw
this article on Bella Naija. Ittook a closer look at guys who
took the “bold” step into marriage and why they did. They (husbands) also
talked about their courtship and why they took the decision to spend the rest
of their lives with their wives. I read through it and a particular couple
caught my eyes…from the guy’s story, its obvious they are good friends asides
being husband and wife, which I think is very admirable especially since its
common place to see people marrying for the wrong reasons.
Oh
well, “to each his own” yeah.
Below
is the story of my “favorite” couple, enjoy:
Taiwo
& Chiz Peters
Taiwo Peters is a Lagos based lawyer who is a father of two has
been married for 5 yrs.
How did you
meet your wife?
Chiz and I were
introduced at a mutual friend’s get together in July 2003. Our friend was going
through a match-making phase and decided she would pair up her different
friends. I don’t usually go for such things but I decided to humour her
nonetheless. I was actually supposed to meet another friend of hers but she
never showed, likewise for Chiz (thank God!). So, we were both on the “waiting
table” and we started talking and before you knew it, it was time for everyone
to go. Because of how we met and how stubborn I could be, I immediately told
myself that I wasn’t going to follow it up but as soon as I got home, I found
myself sending a text message to make sure she was okay (or so I told myself).
When did you
know she was The ONE?
The truth is
that Chiz struck a chord with me from day one but I knew she was “the one”
precisely two weeks after we started dating on the 12th of January,
2004. I actually sent her a text telling her how I felt (I told her I loved
her) and she was kind enough not to laugh in my face when next we saw. Needless
to say, she put that bold statement to the test till I earned her trust and
confidence.
Why did you
get married?
I got married
because quite frankly I was sick and tired of dropping her back home at her
parent’s house. Whenever it was time for her to go home, we would always
quarrel (which was a sneaky way to get more time with her; half bread and all
that) and she would always end up getting home late. But more than that, I knew
100 per cent that I could never ever find someone as loving, funny,
intelligent, hard-working, stylish, classy, sexy, God-fearing (to name just a
few of her qualities) if I tried. In addition, she is as real as they come and
does not have one pretentious bone in her body. Finally, I knew how much I
needed her in my life. I don’t need many people in my life outside my family and
close friends and I wasn’t particularly looking to add to my list, but knew I
needed this lady.
What has
changed for you since you got married?
Well, she
doesn’t go home anymore for a start! So that is great (especially when we
argue!). Apart from that nothing else has really changed. I knew two weeks
after we started dating that I would spend the rest of my life with her (if she
would have me) and I treated her like my wife in every ramification. We dated
for four years before we got married, so there was little that could change
apart from the “license” from God to “do and undo”. We have been blessed with
two children so we are grateful to God that we have responsibly put that
license to good use.
Tell us one
thing you discovered since you got married that you wish someone had told you
before now?
I went into
marriage with my eyes wide open and with zero childish notions so I cannot say
I have been surprised or had a “why didn’t anyone tell me” moment. No matter
what, I will always love her and I was fully aware that there would be tough
times to go with the good times. We have had our share of both but because we
are friends first we always find a way through with God as our
foundation.
Where would
you like to be stuck with alone with your wife?
The location
wouldn’t matter and that’s the God honest truth! We have a blast at home in
front of the TV just as well as when we are on vacation abroad. So long as we
are together, we would always make the most of where we are. We are partial to
the cold though so anywhere with a cool temperature would be excellent.
Just saw this picture
on Pinterest and it hit a nerve in a funny and somewhat serious way.
Thought i'd share it since i can safely say most of us are victims to this
"syndrome" (procrastination).
In search for a cure,
i "stumbled" upon a site (www.positivityblog.com) which proffered
seven (7) timeless tips that can help in putting an end to procrastination...(i
hope i don't postpone applying them in my life though...lol), just kidding, i
actually found them useful.
Time to share
:), enjoy:
1. Stop thinking. Start doing: A bit of planning can
certainly help you to achieve what you want to achieve. A lot of planning and
thinking tends to have the opposite effect. You think and think and try to come
up with “the perfect plan”. A plan where you don’t have to make mistakes, where
you will never be rejected, where there will be no pain or difficulties. Such a
thing does of course not exist. But as long as you work on that plan you can
protect yourself.
2. Don’t blow a task out of proportion: By over thinking and
putting things off you are not only trying to protect yourself from pain. You
also make mountains out of molehills and since you are putting it off you are
probably thinking about it in a negative way. This makes a little thing a big
"Godzilla", a horrible beast that is threatening to ruin your life.
So plan a little and then take action.
3. Just take the first step: When you start to look
too far into the future any task or project can seem close to impossible. And
so you shut down because you become overwhelmed and start surfing the internet
aimlessly instead. That is one of the reasons why it is good to plan for the
future but then to shift your focus back to today and the present moment.
Then you just focus on taking the first step today. That is all
you need to focus on, nothing else. By taking the first step you change you
mental state from resistant to “hey, I’m doing this, cool”. You put yourself in
state where you become more positive and open, a state where you may not be
enthusiastic about taking the next step after this first one but you are at
least accepting it. And so you can take the next step. And the next one after
that.
4. Start with the hardest task of your day: Maybe you have an
important call to make that you also fear might be uncomfortable. Maybe you
know you have gotten behind on answering your emails and have a big pile to dig
into. Maybe you have the last five pages of your paper to finish. Whatever it
may be, get it out of your way and let it be the first thing you do.
If you start your day this way you will feel relieved. You feel
relaxed and good about yourself. And the rest of the day – and your to-do list
– tends to feel a lot lighter and easier to move through. It’s amazing what
difference this one action makes.
5. Just make a decision. Any decision: We feel bad when we
sit on our hands and don’t take action because it’s unnatural. The natural
thing is to be a decisive human and take action. When you procrastinate, you
want to do something but you don’t take the action that is in alignment with
that thought. You become conflicted within. But taking the confident actions
you want to take over and over again is what really builds your self confidence
and a self-image of you being a confident person. When you procrastinate , you
lower your self esteem and send signals back to yourself that you are a ,well,
a kinda lame and indecisive person.
(hmmmm.....).
6. Face your fear:
“Procrastination
is the fear of success. People procrastinate because they are afraid of the success
that they know will result if they move ahead now. Because success is heavy,
carries a responsibility with it, it is much easier to procrastinate and live
on the “someday I’ll” philosophy.” - Denis Waitley
I think this is true. It’s easier to live on that “someday…”
thought. It’s harder to just take action. To risk looking like a fool. To make
mistakes, stumble and not avoid that pain. To take responsibility for your own
life. The easier choice can come with a sense of comfort, with a certain level
of success, pangs of regret for all the things you never dared to do and a
vague sense of being unfulfilled. You wonder about what would have happened if
you had taken more action and more chances.
The harder choice gives you, well, who knows? But it will sure
make your feel more alive.
7. Finish it: Not taking the first step to start
accomplishing something can make you feel bad. But not finishing what you have
started can also leave you in a sort of negative funk. You feel fatigued or
stressed and sometimes you don’t even know why. It’s like someone zapped your
inner power.
If that is the case, go over tasks and projects that you are
currently involved in. Is there something there you know you want to finish but
haven’t yet? Try to get that finished as soon as you can and you will start to
feel a whole lot better.
Welcome to a New Month and specifically the Second Quarter of 2012.
How time flies, can't believe its six months already...luckily for us, we still have six more months to make our 2012 worthwhile :).
I guess sometimes we all need that "kick in the a** " to get us moving and am hoping these "quotes" would do that for you and for me also (yep, i need that "kick" too).
Enjoy:
Do live a "love-filled 2012" and flee from a "fear-filled 2012".